christmas

i havent' really had a good one in a while. i mean i have always gotten great presents that i'm always thankful for, but for the past 4 years those weren't even enough to bring a smile to my face. every year something always happens between me and a girl. its always a girl with me. i'm sure if you're reading this you have learned that. somehow a girl always either breaks my heart or something like that.

this year was different. i haven't dated in a while so there was no girl? but does this christmas suck? of course. why? i am working nights still, on christmas. thanks shoals hospital. but in 5 hours its gonna rule. i broke bank and bought my family all really sweet gifts. and my friends too. i'm really excited to give them their presents. i really love giving. the only things good about this comercial holiday. giving. other than jesus duhh.

anways.

next christmas, i plan to

-kiss my girlfriend who doesn't screw me over or who i don't mess things up with under the mistletoe. hard to belive i've never done that with anyone.

-i'm gonna go to midnight mass. i've never been. i wanna see what thats all about.

-i'm gonna eat alot of dressing. i didn't get any this christmas

- i won't be at the hospital on blogspot

- i'm gonna bring my girlfriend to my family christmas. a place no girl in jordan's life has ever been

- i'm gonna chill with my family all day and take them to a movie

thats what i wanna do. i'm certain that even if these don't happen, that it'll still be a great christmas next year. the whole year looks foward to that one day and starting the day after i'm gonna start getting ready for the next. i've hated christmas for a while now but next year it'll be different.

but jesus love us and always gives. we should model all our lives around this. if we did. we wouldn't need politics, charity programs, medicare or medicaid, just some girftwrap and some bows. love you guys who read whats on my heart. i hope you know i love the lord and that i strive to be like him. be blessed.

sunday morning

yep, i'm at work on a sunday morning at 7 am. i should be asleep. and i should be able to wake up to go to church in an hour or so, but life happens. i've gotta put an amp on stage so i'm thankful i have a job. speaking of amps, i haven't guitar updated in a while.

i' stil playing through all the same stuff as last time. but i'll tell my stuff anyways just incase. maybe one day if i actually do get to play for a living, people will be able to look back and see where i started.

i'm running my gibson sg >pitchblack tuner>jhs compressor>goodrich volume pedal (which i just found out is actually powered)>jhs banana boost>luther drive>maxon 808 (soon to be either a mad professor s.h.o or a jhs charlie brown)>my timmy>aqua puss>line6 dl4(soon to be a eventide timefactor)>into my vox ac4

i'm happy with that. i wish i had a louder amp with some cool tones but i'm ok with the vox.

now more on jesus.

yesterday i sat on my grandparents porch on the swing my grandparents used to share every afternoon. i sat for a little while and thought of my grandmother that just passed away earlier this year. what does this have to do with jesus? let me finish. i sat there for about 15 minutes and wondered why she was taken away and what it would be like if she was still living.  then those thoughts led to the old thought i used to have, about God being real. i wasn't thinking those thoughts but remembering thinking those thoughts and how i used to feel about eternity and God's existance.

i hope that made sense.

for like 5 minutes i was pretty stressed out in my old mind. someone i loved died. someone i'm supposed to love i can't see for feel and i doubt they exist. now i can't see my gradmother and i can't feel her or hear her voice. so does she take the same mindset jesus does now? no. then why do i doubt the existance of God?

i think its because i never hung out with him. or ate lunch with him or played baseball with him. kinda like the thought of having a soul mate. i doubt that more than i doubt God alot of the time. i find it stressful to think that i'm supposed to find this one girl in a world of gynteen billion people and i'm supposed to love her and complete her and all that gooey stuff, but then i wake up one morning and stretch and i almost feel her do the same. wherever she is. sometimes look at the sky or at the world surrouding us and i feel she's doing the same.

why do i doubt? maybe cause i don't know who they are fully yet. i'm not sure who i'm gonna marry. i know what i would like, but i'm not sure if they'll meet my expectations. i know they'll blow my mind but sometimes i forget that. anyways, i don't know if i even really said anything worth reading but whatever.

i feel wonderful today. like eric clapton singing to me wonderful. Jesus is real. He is around today, ask him to help you today. i'm sure he won't mind lol

peace.

I don't

Pretend to have everything together. My last post is proof. But I always am straightforward. I joke alot but in seriousnessesness lol im honest. My flaw is I don't open up anymore. Failed relationships of old have taken its toil on my life and I have employed this great defense. Well I'm tearing it down. Its gonna be hard but I'm gonna be better after.

Next step, open up and be vulnerable and tender.still working on my speech and vocabulary.

Today was a great day. I'm just happy. Jesus still is real.

December so far

Its been ok. I'm still trying to get everything together. Going slow. I feel foreign. here lately all I want is to be alone in the dark. my favorite thing ever is when I wake up from sleep and kinda panic a little bit cause I don't know where I am. I know its super weird but I like it.

During those times, I forget who I am. The things I love and the things I hate. I forget what controls me and the things I control. my spirit is bare and wide open. That's the only time it happens. I forget the things I've done and the times I've hurt people and I forget the things and the people that hurt me. I'm alone and I couldn't be happier. I'm slowly growing such and tired of all people.

80's

yep. im reppin 80s now. its not real heavy but for me its huge. i've worked hard and its paid off. my goal is to be reppin 100s by my birthday. i think i can do it. i just gotta keep working harder and harder.

anyways. the lord blessed me with a great weekend. i went to church and it was just what i needed. my past relationships are starting to mend. it'll get even better once i learn to watch my mouth. i could tell this weekend that is onething that got bad and i didn't notice it til this weekend. anyways. jesus saves

Wellpah...

Studio went ok. I chickened out singing my own song. But forrest makes killer pads and we still might have a killer song if I can get the timing right

Anyways, tonight was my awakening I guess. I realized I wasted a year. A whole freaking year.lets recap...

Last december. I decided to try to date a really awesome girl which so happened to be my best friend at the time. Ruined that friendship.

January. I started getting restless with my life and wanted to make it exciting. I wanted new friends.

February. I found them. And my life changed forever.

March, I decided I was gonna start living for the lord again but I started feeling led to another church. Which I believe was god. Also I believe god sent me the one.

April -I'm doing well. I'm praying. And by praying I mean I'm mainly mainly spending time with her. Praying some.

May. School ends and I start to work. Things get sketchy with her. Well actually I just suck at life and dating and girls.

June. We break up. I didn't care. I work everyday.and meet alot of girls. Alot of great girls. Not hookups. Just friends but still not where my life should be.

July. Depression. I quit working out.i slept. Then worked.

August. Things got a bit better. Stoked about the new school year.

September. I decided to stay working full time at night while going to school full time.

October. shane moved in. life got fun and simpler..new friends new nicknames. The drink chick I had to carry home. Nothing bad happened but it was funny.

November.i quit nights cause of complete exhaustion. School suffers major. But I start working out and I make alot if great strength gains. I worked hard. Almost my rehab.

And here we are a year later. This time last year I was siting in the hospital when august was born.

I'm through with this. I have nothing else. I'm worn out emotionally. I think jesus knows what he's doing and I'm gonna enjoy my semester off and start doing the basics again. guitar. worship. And giving. Those are the things god has given me and I let them go. I'm getting them back.

This december. I'm getting clean and I'm building my good relationships back up that I ruined.

Its not that he isn't faithful, its that I haven't been consistent and trustworthy.

oh.

Man.

I am recording a song tomorrow. Like singing and everything. I am terrified out of my mind.Why you ask? Well because I have never let anyone hear my songs. I usually throw them out because I think they're crap. And two because I suck at singing.

I think that my suckage its mainly because I have no confidence I my voice. And I don't song much so I haven't practiced my singing at all. Maybe this will start a fire and I will slowly get better. i hope so. friends, please encourage me to sing and practice.

Anyways, the song I wrote is about jesus calling us home and living in us. It's something that gives me peace so why not write about it? Quaid helped me alot with it. He's a great writer and not many people know it. I'm honored to co write with him.

I'm not quite sure how I want the overall song to sound like, either an a acoustic-y messy open type of warm old school approach or a post rock thing. I'm kinda leaning towards the first cause I know that if my singing if just bad, ill add some delay to an electric guitar and hide behind that. I wanna do what would sound best though. I'm pretty sure there will be a slide part though, but I think I'm gonna get chad to do it. He's the best there is. Period. Anyways. Ill post more tomorrow and tell how it goes. Ill put pics or something up on twitter tomorrow too. Night.

Jesus iz faithful

Man, oh, man

you know, its one of my greatest dreams to get married one day and to be in love, but oddly enough I find more comfort alone than with people anymore. I read blue like jazz my don miller and he wrote in one chapter that he wanted to meet a girl that made him feel alone. At least I think it was miller...anyways I feel the exact same.

I've been with girls that talk and are great at making life unboring. I've also dated a girl that wanted med to talk to her. She wanted me to talk about my feeling and know what I was thinking about all the time. That was a turn off.

She didn't mean it but I dont have much to say. In fact, I don't have anything at all to say. I hate talking. Texting too. I wanna meet a girl who wants to make me bored and not busy. maybe then I wouldn't flake out so quick.

Life is confusing.

Badrizzle

Its been a while.

I don't really know where to start. So lets go with

Feelings. I used to get upset when I first started the whole charismatic church thing. People prayed they fall down shake cry and they are the ones close to god. I never felt anything. Everything seemed like I was the only sinner and that I needed to get more free to have great experiences with god.

Wrong, sense when are we entitled to have feelings? when did god say that my presence its like drugs. He just said there was peace. That and follow me. Get real church, its not about us. Its about jesus, the cross and saving sinners.

In fact, instead if getting jesus high and getting on our knees and serving maybe our churchs would grow with new believers.

Long time no blog

Yeah yeah I know. I haven't blogged lately. I've been busy. I've been up and down. I've tried hard at a few things and I've failed.

You know that saying absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well it did, and I wish it hadn't. The past week has been both simple and super confusing, happy and heart breaking. I wish I would have made better choices in my life already. I hope the next few years go better and get me somewhere and someone. I hope.

Anyways, jesus is still good and deserving of praise and honor. Even if I don't feel anything it wasn't to admit it.

Thank you for saving my life everyday and bring there when I need you. You are better than girl.thanks

Long time no blog

Yeah yeah I know. I haven't blogged lately. I've been busy. I've been up and down. I've tried hard at a few things and I've failed.

You know that saying absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well it did, and I wish it hadn't. The past week has been both simple and super confusing, happy and heart breaking. I wish I would have made better choices in my life already. I hope the next few years go better and get me somewhere and someone. I hope.

Anyways, jesus is still good and deserving of praise and honor. Even if I don't feel anything it wasn't to admit it.

Thank you for saving my life everyday and bring there when I need you. You are better than girl.thanks

Tired

Still at the hospital at night. awesome. I'm still exhausted, stressed, and sick. I wonder why? Prolly cause there's no peace unless its with jesus. I'm not so sure he's in this decision. I'm pretty sure working nights for minimum wage isn't the more abundant life for ole jwig.

Anyways, I'm done being a baby. Lets talk about jesus. He's kept me alive the past few months. He's kept me warm and kept me fed. I'm so thankful for that. I don't feel so good. My head hurts I'm stressed and I have no peace, but he still sustains me.that moves me. When peter took his eyes off jesus and started to sink jesus saved him. But peter still got soaked. Someones we get mad when we get wet when we're in sin, but we should be thankful we still have life.

I'm wanting to do some mission stuff on my off semester. But I'm off. Ill try to write more thursday or friday if time permits.

Exhaustion

In the place of suffering, there's a God worth worshipping.
Those are some of the truest words I've ever heard before. They calm me down when I'm aggravated or overwelmed. Those words are a promise to me. When crap happens, great worship is available. Times when we're wrong aren't fun, but that's when God can soothe and heal a broken spirit. Nothing better than that old familiar feeling of God whispering in your ear and telling you he's there and he's going to make it better.

Here lately my spirits been pretty broken. Working nights was a bad idea. I love the work, but I can't sleep anymore. I guess I lost my peace somewhere in august. Haven't found it yet either. I'm giving up this shift. I have to. I need to rest and I need to play guitar. I'm going to take a semester off so I can pray and see what I need to do with my life. I'm gonna play alot of guitar too. Hopefully me and ole chad will do a good bit of writing and show florence what real guitar music is. We'll show em jesus too. That's a promise.

in the fifties

Its possible to look at my facebook or twitter and one can looks at everything and never notice that I'm a believer. I don't know why, but its prolly cause my status updates are usually about dumb stuff.

Anyways I love jesus.

I got such a blessing tonight at church. I played guitar and my mom came to watch. Its was such a sweet spirited night. We we're playing one song and while we were changing songs the church started singing we exalt thee. Without us leading. For the first time in my life, I was in a service completely unhindered by man. God had his way and we didn't even have to start the song it just felt good.

It felt like home.

I love the word home. Home to me means somewhere you go to eat without charge. Its somewhere were there's fresh laundry. A place with a warm shower and an open hug. Its a place where I can be myself and without worry of disappointment or embarrassment.

That's what the lords presence felt like tonight. I wanted to eat in it.sleep in it.maybe take a shower in it? Lol you get my point.

What I'm saying is tonight was work all the pain of last night. I knew it would be. The lord is faithful. Believe in him for everything. Daddy will take care of you when you're home.

Lets talk about jesus

He never went to seminary. he didn't write a get money get paid christian book. I don't think he ever prayed for someone and made them fall and shake. He didn't have an awesome worship team in his church. He didn't have a fancy logo for his mission trip or youth bowling outing. He didn't attack the government or try to reform it. He didn't have business meetings at church. He didn't do much actually.

I think that people who say they hate jesus world prolly hang out with him of he were son of God in flesh right now instead of 2000 years ago. He doesn't do much of what the church does now. I'm not attacking any churchs. I love church. go to church.

I just wanna refresh those old sunday school thoughts of jesus. He loves the little children. He heals. He feeds. He took care of widows and he met needs. I love that about him.

A need is something that if not met, life ends. What's a need then? Water. Food. Warmth. Love. That's all I can think of. Time and time again in. scripture he looks past everything and meets needs. The church does alot of great things. Lets keep it up. As long as we're doing those things we're christ like.

And once we do those for things, I believe that we can start walking in his savior shoes and lead some hearts that have been fed, watered, and clothed to jesus.

Think about jesus today

Tuna

Yeah. Blog time.

I'm working as usual, but I've only got three more days then I'm off for seven days. Ive got some fun things planned.

Ive actually been doing some writing and I think I'm gonna but together a band. And yes. I'm gonna do the singing. I have no idea what this little project will sound like. Hopefully good lol. But for real. I've got a few folky-ish love songs and a few covers id like to do. Just some fun stuff I've been singing.

No "worship" songs really, but I'm sure they'll come. As for now I'm just gonna pay fun songs and try my hardest to write creative songs that are enjoyable and fun to sing. I've got my mind already on a few people I would like to join me, but nothing concrete. If you would like to play or help write songs, call or text me. My number is stupidly on facebook.

This is gonna be a big hard step for me. I'm very self conscious about my singing and even more about my lyric writing. So friends keep me encouraged and remind me that I'm trying this. This is where my heart is and I want my dreams and desires to come true.

Yep. I will do a beiber cover. You can count on it.

anyways

enough of the ridiculous posts. time to get back to business.

i hate school. english class is stupid. history is really stupid. and my music classes are really starting to get old. i feel like i'm tearing myself apart. working full time at night, then going to school for a major i don't really care about. i like music, but all i really wanna do is play guitar for a living. that doesn't seem like its gonna happen. i had a dream last night that i actually did play guitar for a living, making good money and could have a familiy of my own. i woke up to reality though. no cool guitars, no wife with crazy little kids. just an alarm waking me up for english class.

for the past week i have been waking up and questioning if i'll ever pass english, math, and history, much less graduate college. it doesn't seem like it. i can't write papers. i stink at algebra. the system is stupid. i wonder what jesus would do if he were a 20 year old electric guitar player who couldn't pass english comp or history. i mean clearly this is hypothetical but its not a stupid thought is it?

i think he would take it slow and relax. he would remember to breathe when he hasn't slept all night. he would remember to eat too. and not drink so many energy drinks. he would prolly get tutored and and check in with friends to see what was do and have people check his homework. he would constantly email the teachers asking for them to look over essays and term papers and he would actually practice his piano and guitar sometime in the day.

he would take his time most of all, i believe. so thats what i need to do i guess. do what jesus would do.
(i know that jesus wouldn't have problems with school. i'm just saying)

i don't sleep any more and i can't hardly remember what happened the day before. but i think thats ok for now. i think that God will eventually turn my water into wine. i'm stale and flavorless and lacking in joy, but i think he's gonna change that slowly. things will lighten up and my path will start to get better and easier when i start to get more disciplined and get used to this working nights.

peace. God loves.

broke

getting noticed.


i walk through campus everyday and i catch some eyes. i'm not the prettiest guy in the world and i'm not being conceded. but i make serious eye contact everyday. i mean serious. i mean so serious, i catch that watery eye glaze where i just know that she wants to blink and look away but she sees something in my soul that draws her. invites her. or at least thats what i like to belive. the point is that i get eye to eye contact and it's intense. at least 2 full seconds a pop.


90% of the time i never act on these moments, but the ones i do act on turn me down 92% of the time, every time.


i have plenty of stories, but i'll spare you.


anyways, here's the plan. i'm gonna start staring at girls. instead of looking them in the eyes and turning away after a glance. i'm gonna straight creep the next girl who decides she'll check me out. i'm talking stare at her for like an hour. she'll either respond to my advances or run off and never look at a guy again until she finds the one. this will be a great thing for guys everywhere.

anyways, i don't know why this font got bigger and i can't fix this so this is more important. some girl walked up the other day at school and sat down in front of me while i was waiting for class at school. she started pulling art supplies out of her backpack and started drawing. so i decided to talk to her cause she was pretty attractive. i asked her, "you an art student?"

all she said was "yeah. my boyfriends in commercial music." true story. she shot me fast in record time. i never had a chance. never have i approached a girl that i didn't know and it be even remotely successful. in fact, everytime i have, i have been humiliated. guys, never approach girls. instead, creep them on facebook and educate yourselves on the girl. that way you know what you're up against.

some tips i've learned as a successful facebook creeper.

-always check the relationship status. sometimes the one under info isn't true. some girls are married to rock starts, friends or guys they think they love. for a more accurate status. check pictures for a guy that is in a lot of them, then check the profile pics. if he is in there chances are they're dating. but be look for the beautiful crop out. the picture that  she cropped the reaccuring guy was in the picture, but she thinks that he's not profile cuteness worthy. this a sign of single. also heavily monitor the comments.

-make sure she's hot. this speaks for itself. guys are attracted to different characteristics. thats cool, but make sure you're creeping someone that has all the traits worth creepin.

-this is vital. check the mom. you want a girl who ages well so the mom is a good idea of what she will look like. how? most moms are on facebook and they can be found under the info and are usually linked on the creeped girls page. if not, try the prom or formal photo albums. girls 90% of the time take pictures of their mom before they leave the house. these pictures are usually at the top of the album.

-make sure she's not spam

- know her age. again. sometime the profile lies. resort to pictures, interests and comments.

-do not poke the girl. ever.

- find out who she hangs with. then find someone you know that hangs with her, or her friends. slowly wiggle your way through the society to meet her. hang out with friends to meet their friends and then meet their friends who know her. it takes time, but so did the wall of china.

- lastly, seal the deal. start talking. sparingly at first. but let communication grow as her infatuation.

hope this helps.

Two in one week?

My computer at work its laying down on me right now so I can't do to much. So I think I might continue last nights (mornings?) Thought.

There's nothing better than the heart being warmed. I remember hugging a friend in church a few years ago and we both started weeping. I have no idea why. I wasn't praying for him or prophesying to him. He wasn't doing anything spiritual to me either. I did encounter jesus that day though my friend though. I hope he can day the same. I caught a glimpse of john the beloved disciple laying his head on jesus's chest. I wonder why he did that?

I don't think I have any speculations on it honestly. Maybe he was getting that same embrace I did that day. I'm starting to believe that's what he was doing. I wonder if his dreams ever came true? I bet they did. I mean he got closer to jesus's heart than everyone else.

That's what warms the heart, I think. Touching the heart of jesus. I don't think its that hard either. I think we can do that still.

I also love how they were eating the same time this was happening. There's that dinner with jesus again. Everytime there's a meal with jesus something intimate and heart warming happens. Count on it.its all through the bible. if someone needs something real in their life, they need to be shown how to dine with jesus.

How go you dine? I think that to its easy. I think it's filling your deepest hunger, in the deepest parts of you, with the presence of jesus. It's taking everything we want and long for and putting jesus there.

Simple. Teach someone to eat

Can't complain

So its 2 58 am and I'm blogging. Nights like tonight make me wanna crawl in a hole and die. I don't wanna work nights and go to school full time. I don't wanna do anything.

Why did I apply for this job? Honestly, I don't know. its an ok job, but it leads me know where near my dreams. In fact, its starting to steer me straight away from it.

What is my dream? Good question. I used to say my dream is what I wake up thinking about and what I fall asleep thinking about. But lately I don't sleep anymore. I actually don't even think or anything anymore. My life is becoming a blur. I never know what I'm doing. I'm just moving. Bouncing from a thirty minute nap to work to school.

My dream its to be helpful and tender. I wanna be the person that can change a bad day into the best day ever. I dream of loving people. Guitar is cool and working in the er is ok, but its lost its appeal. But what hasn't its the idea of finding some girl to fall in love with and reaching out to people.

I kinda understand why jesus was so compassionate. he was human just like me and wanted to feel alive. Every human feels this way in some way and I think jesus set a great example for a heart that's heavy and can't find relief.

like the last chapter of john. The disciples go fishing. I see them trying to clear their mind after all that had happened. Their most beloved friend had been executed and resurrected. The past few years had been trying. They had seen things done not physically possible and had all their priorities completely re-established. Needless to say a human mind and spirit would be tired and troubled.

Jesus sits and asks peter if he loves him three times. Almost like he were speaking to his mind body and spirit. He then after each reply, told peter to tend his sheep.

I feel the same way as peter almost two thousand years later. I get tired hurt and confused. That's when early in the morning, I feel like I'm getting asked do you love me? If so tend my sheep.

That's when I breathe. Dine with jesus and re focus. Life its not about me. Its about tending the sheep

Ps. this was typed via droid so its prolly filled errors in writing. Even more so than normal lol

7 days off

whats going on forum?

last week was a hard week for me. i'm not even gonna lie. i let my doubts and fears get the best of me for a good ten days or so. maybe its the long nights at work. i don't know. i think sometimes i try so hard at everything i do that when things don't go according to my "perfect" plan that i have in my head, i freak out. i don't know why i think i can control life. i can't. no one can. humans don't get to plan. we just react to life as it comes.

its kinda depressing. the hard things come and most of the time we are caught off guard. actually all the time we are caught off guard.who ever prepares for heartache? i know i don't. sometimes i hope to much and make things more tragic than they really are cause they don't compare to my dream world.

the thing about life is getting caught off guard. its bad alot, but sometimes getting your world turned upside down is great. sometimes when you get a check in the mail from no where when you weren't even needing money is awesome. or seeing a good friend from a long time ago at school. or seeing a shooting star. or finding love where you thought there wasn't any. i think that makes life worth the tears and the difficulty breathing in the bad times.

the best feeling ever is a burden being lifted, but we wouldn't know that feeling without the burden. i think that makes sense?

last week was dark cold and dreary, but because of that my steps are a little lighter. my grass is greener. my heart is beating again and i can breathe. all my eyes see this week is beauty and i owe it all to last week.

as for guitar and other things. my volume came in. its sweet. i actually made it into applied voice. pretty sweet. the girl i was talking to wouldn't have any of ole j wig but thats ok. i'm better and over it.

over all, life is good. read this with a smile and listen to your favorite song and laugh. think about love and how much you love to love. its the only thing worth living for.

peace.

working like a champ

just ordered a jhs comp and a goodrich volume pedal. i'm pretty excited. still don't have an amp but i'm working on that. anyways

i've been at working everyday since thursday. 8 30 pm til 6 am. its long night but i like it alright. it'll get me through school and pay for some serious guitar equipment. hopefully, on my weeks off from work i'll be able to start playing some places if the Lord allows it.

i feel like its been my time to chill in the background as far as guitar playing. hopefully that is changing as you read this. i wanna play for a living so bad but i don't know if i will.

anyways i'm out.

schlitz

well, i tried to update this week but i couldn't figure out how to on my phone. at least i tried though. lots has happened this week. over all it has been a great week.

turns out i got the job at the hospital. from now on i work 7 days straight. 830 pm to 6 am. sucky shift i know but after the seven i'm off for seven. that starts next thursday and you guessed it, i'm' off til then. whoot.

school started back and i can tell i'm gonna grow a lot this semester. the classes i have a sweet and i have prolly the coolest teachers ever, especially my english teacher. i think i'll be able to learn more from her cause she's really passionate about her job and that makes class much better.

i'm supposed to take a singing class this year but to get in it i have to try out and sing for the department. i'm prolly gonna wimp out cause i am awful. the only reason i'm taking it is so i can get a little better just so i can make choir.

i've also been stretching myself in talking to people. i'm awful at approaching people. i really am. but i'm working on that. i'm building confidence. yesterday i approached three girls and talked to them. two were passes and one was a horrid fail.

the fail didn't have much hope to begin with. it was a girl i kinda used to talk to, but hadn't talked to her since then which was about a year. so i threw my pencil all the way across the guc and it landed right next to her. it might have even hit her leg. i walk up and said, sorry, i dropped my pencil, but anyways how are you today miss. she didn't acknowledge me one bit. prolly the worst thing thats ever happened to me but i'm over it.

the guys who talk to the most girls also get rejected by the most girls. i'm not trying to get girls or whatever i'm just making a point. you can't expect to be great at meeting people and approaching people without practicing. btw, i'm kinda talking to a pretty young lady anyways. she's cool.

anyways, guitar update.

prolly gonna try to buy a super reverb next week. or at least put it on lay a way.

and all this time i've bought electric guitar crap i've started just playing acoustic stuff and i'm writing what i feel is alot of great stuff. if i get a few more songs i might try to record them.

anyways, i'm gonna do laundry. more to come later.

i'm virtual

i'm starting a blog. whoot. i prolly won't keep up with it very well, but i'm gonna try.

today is a monday and i have to work but school starts back this week and i couldn't be more excited. i'm taking  a butt ton of music classes and a few boring basics as usual. i've got big plans for this semester. hopefully i can talk my parents into cosigning with me so i can get a guitar amp. that would be so awesome

a few choices as of today, it'll prolly change.

dr.z stang ray
fargen mini plex
65 amp soho
divided by 13
vox ac30 heritage

anyways, enough about guitar stuff. some things thats on my mind. i play alot of guitar pedals and effects. but my favorite artists don't use them. ex derek trucks. i find that ironic. the one guy who i love more than anybody, i share nothing in common with him. hopefully one day when i magically start singing well, i'll graduate and learn how to play guitar and can get away with just a les paul and a jtm45. thats where i'm headed in music.

in life, i'm headed towards servanthood. its the only way to live. people are weird being and they respond to different things. and servant hood is one thing that weighs heavy on the heart of all men and can break through so much hurt, discouragement, and heartache. it also can cause men to become humble. those that are served that is. thats why we are all told in the good book to become a servant unto all men. when we get blessed and someone serves us, we need to return the favor to someone else.

living life close to the feet of others is a good thing. jesus washed feet. its hard to fall and stumble when you're already on the ground serving and worshipping.

that is all.
jwig