Tuesday, December 20, 2011


i am getting ready to drive to birmingham to play with a friend of mine, jonathan newman. we're practicing for a few days coming up that we're leading worship at. i'm playing lead guitar. get you some of that. i'm pretty excited cause i get to play kunde's parts on you are my passion from jesus cultures cd that came out last year. i love that riff so much. i think i'm gonna do him justice. i might even add my own personality to it.

also, i will be leading a worship set during the arks 24/7 worship in januray. tuesdays at 9pm i believe. you should come and make fun of me. don't really have any songs in mind except one i wrote. i don't even know what i want to sound like either. don't even know if i want to play electric or acoustic. this week i'm leaning towards the electric. but if i had to guess, we'd be like jonathan david helser, john mark mcmillian, hammock, and fervent all thrown into a blender. but who knows. chad and ole forrest are gonna have my back so they'll add extra smoothness to the mix.

no ladies for now and i've planned it that way. i'll get back to the game after the holidays.

god's been good as always and i'm planning on 2012 to be the year it gets solid. i'm back into the swing of christianity not that i really went anywhere but you know what i mean. i'm learning about god and myself and where i need to be in life. its somewhere involved with music and caring for people. maybe working with people less fortunate by day and singing/playing guitar at night. but all these years i've been hurting cause i'm not singing or playing somewhere god's promises where always there. they're not even close to where i want them to be but i'm in a good place and i wouldn't trade them for anything. he's taught me so much lately.

mainly, god is teaching me that i don't need a map, i just need a ear to hear and feet willing to go wherever he says. i imagine i'll travel soon but who knows. my parents are always on my case about going back to school but something in me says no almost like i might be leaving soon. to where? i don't know but i can feel like.

the light shines in the darknes, and the darkness can never extinguish it - john 1: 5

-j wiggly

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Hi guys

I can't sleep. I haven't had that problem in a while. It's the holidays so as usual my mind kicks into to overdrive. Let me just go on a rant. I have fallen in "love" with three girls today. I blame it solely on Christmas. Because of the movies, songs, and everything else commercial I fed myself for years, my mind gets tricked into thinking I'm gonna have some gooey romantic holiday Season. I actually don't want that. I want a tv and an xbox. Oh and maybe a yorkie and a glock. Those two don't have to do with each other.

But mostly I want a holiday where I'm not stressed to fall in love but one where I get to sit and be fat and enjoy my friends.

Also, I regret shaving my head bad right now

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

i was just thinking

and i just realized how easy it would to get me to fall in love with anyone. so if you're a girl and you want to sweep me off my feet. heres the way to do it.

step 1. wait til the first of december. i will always be available. i'm very bitter in christmas time and always look for a girl to love

step 2. wear boots, tights, short skirt "(not to short) basic cardigan/ sweater, always have a scarf, and have long curly hair.

step 3.on a date, have me pick you up at your place but don't let me meet your parents. parents love me and that is a negative for reasons i will not disclose.

step 4. don't get close to my mom or sister for the first year.

step 5. i prefer the smell of your just washed and conditioned hair over any perfume anyday.

step 6. i will ask you out but i wont be able to make a decision cause i want to get something you like. just make sure we end up at a roadhouse of some  kind.

step 7. smile a lot and hold eye contact when i try to make it

step 8. don't ever call it a night. ask what are we gonna do after dinner?

step 9. order desert, cause i dont have the balls to fork out the money unless i have someone to share it with.

step 10. argue with me. its hot

step 11. be ok with the fact that i can't decide on what to do after dinner and help me keep the conversation rolling cause we will drive around for two hours before i park somewhere

step 12. and this is the winner. if you want to seal the deal somehow play the song night moves by bob seiger on my stereo, phone, or ipod and have deep meaningful talks with me with that song on repeat. i will be smitten.

step 13. hug me sometime that night for longer than a minute and you have me.

its simple, you girls. get to it.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


i have a few lesbian friends.

i am a christian.

you see what i did there? i'm a hypocrite. or so some people prolly think lol but i don't think so. these girls are incredible. never in my life have i met more honest and sincere people in my life. no guessing with them. i'm prolly closest to katie. from my knowledge she grew up baptist and has always been in church. right there we have a very similar background. one night we stepped out so she could smoke and i put a fat one in (dip, you guys) and we made small talk. she then turns to Christianity. she let me know how she feels about christians. she talked about how they don't care and the selfishness. she had my ears at that point.

i recently read an article by the guy from that band gungor. and let me go ahead and say i have never listened to any of their music. sad i know but anyways. in the article he almost echoed what she said except he was talking about christian music. in short he was bashing the shallowness of christian music, the kind you'd head on the radio. he mentioned that the words obviously are more important but when sang the sounded lifeless and had no meaning. sounds so much like christianity. he went on to say how the reason was because of money. christian music is like secular music in that its all about selling cds and booking shows but obviously targeted at different audiences. that baffles me.

shouldn't music thats christ inspired be targeted at audiences that christ would be concerned with? i think so. let me bring you a common fact about christ. he loved everyone but they way the bible reads, he extremely disliked the church people of that time and was often angered at them. he hung out with the drunks, prostitutes, and thieves of that day.

where am i going? katie the lesbian said that christians are very selfish and only help to make themselves feel that they did the work of christ that way they could feel accomplished that they could help a lesser person but they wouldn't risk being unequally yoked them so they won't go out of their way to touch a life. she was displeased cause of the drama and gossip in the church. people hate each other in church but you'd never know it cause eveyone's fake in the modern church. we're all to blame.

still foggy i know. here's my point. katie loves people. she writes the best music. why? because she feels. she doesn't let doctrine or selfishness get in the way of her fears, faults, pain or her strengths, successes, and joy. it is untouched by false doctrine or even a true doctrine that might be taken the wrong way. i am making light of homosexuality. really. i am. i know i'm supposed to say im not making light but screw it. i've done lots of horrid things. still do and but i know a God who is bigger than those and being gay. i think he's ok with katie. she told me she prays all the time for God to convict her and when i heard that it took everything in me not to break down and weep. if only i could hear that prayer. her music has weight to it, her words, her love to her girlfriend. i bet that prayer would be powerful in the throneroom of God.

if christians would pray, write music, and love like my favorite lesbian, i think that church would be better. i think broken people wouldn't seem that broken and they could receive the hope of christ so much better and the broken wouldn't be broken anymore.

big gungor also went on a rant about alcohol and its wonderful. jesus drank wine. his first miracle was making the best wine. i don't know about you but i've had alcohol free wine and quite frankly i'd rather lick a pigs chode than try that again. but i have had a glass of fine wine with alcohol and it was incredible. so there you go. jesus drank wine. good wine. that fact ruins christianity for alot of people. it shouldn't. the people who fight so much against alcohol are not seeing the big picture of that story. christ, the son of god the pure and spotless lamb didn't heal thousands that day. he didn't save millions of lost souls. he met the very human need for wine.

he denied his majesty and made wine. today he still does the same thing. he denies his holiness to met the selfish needs of ours. he's selfish for us so we don't have to be. he gives us the charge to go and lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. to give it all so others can live and be happy. its serventhood. thats all christianity is about. serventhood.

so go have a beer with someone who's hurt and love them and do anything to make them feel loved and charish that person. they need us.

stick it,

Saturday, November 5, 2011

i'm still alive for you

you ever have one of those weeks where nothing goes right? that was this week for me. longest, most painful week of my life. i had to break out the dashboard confessional to even make it. the good news is that i've made it. i've got scars and bruises but i've made it. this is sparta.

its not something i can talk about yet but just know me keeping everything inside is to blame. who knew? its always because i don't talk. everything always ends because of that. i wish i only knew deaf people sometimes. the only thing i know to do is start my life over, i guess. i'm really starting over. taking all my preferences away and rediscovering everything. christianity, girls, music, everything. i've built up a personality and a characteristic that i'm not proud of. two years ago i was a sensitive and honest person and now i'm nothing short of a monster.

i fully believe that i control my life and every aspect of it. of course situations happen but i still control my emotions, how i react, and how things affect me. so i'm starting over. i'm putting everything i've learned this past two years and throwing them away.

roll tide

Monday, October 24, 2011


life hasn't changed any. i'm marking days off my life and i haven't done anything lately. but its ok. the lord is still doing  work in me and i couldn't be more excited.

i'm actually writing cause i have some updates.

the first is im writing. i made a list of various topics and i'm writing on them. maybe to give some insights . when i finish i'll put them up. i'm also got some songs brewing, but you know how that goes. i usually trash them. but i'm gonna give you a line so you at least get that.

"i hope the artists never find the color of your eyes, cause they'd waste them on their beautiful autumn skies."

yep. thats about a girl i know. her eyes are breathtaking.

the second update is me and chad are going to charleston this weekend. party party party. should be fun. more updates to come.

stick it

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


life has been wild. too wild.

so i lost it for about a month but as always, i fell into the presence of the lord somehow. i was acting like an idiot and lost my mind. i gave into my fleshly desires and really fell away from the lord. first time i've ever really lived like that. i'm glad i had an encounter. it was the first one i have had in long, long time. it happened at a prayer meeting and i can't quite explain what happened but i'll try.

i was laying in the floor when the conviction of the lord came upon me. i wept and groaned for hours. during this time, i felt like i was sinking into the floor and i could not physically breathe, so much that i couldn't not form words to pray. never in my life have a had a physical encounter with the lord like that. it was very much a terrifying experience. i learned that God doesn't care about your beliefs, he cares about your heart and what you are and aren't putting in it.

it took and encounter for me, and as a father to the younger kids in our youth group, that is what i'm asking the father. me and blake are devoting our lives to fathering these kids and we don't know what to ask. so i've been using that since its what i needed. it just takes one encounter, one real moment with jesus that will grasp your attention. what they do with that is their own responsibility. i know the last real encounter i had i ran as far from charismatic christianity as i could. hopefully tonight i'll get to pray and speak into some one and that we'll see signs wonders and miracles. lord knows we need them

i know you're wondering so i'll just say it. me and paige broke up, but i'm over it.

also i'm getting a loan tomorrow for an amp.

also i feel cleaner and more christ like than i ever have. i still fail of course but im seeking him more than ever and he's doing a mighty work in me.

stick it