sunday morning

yep, i'm at work on a sunday morning at 7 am. i should be asleep. and i should be able to wake up to go to church in an hour or so, but life happens. i've gotta put an amp on stage so i'm thankful i have a job. speaking of amps, i haven't guitar updated in a while.

i' stil playing through all the same stuff as last time. but i'll tell my stuff anyways just incase. maybe one day if i actually do get to play for a living, people will be able to look back and see where i started.

i'm running my gibson sg >pitchblack tuner>jhs compressor>goodrich volume pedal (which i just found out is actually powered)>jhs banana boost>luther drive>maxon 808 (soon to be either a mad professor s.h.o or a jhs charlie brown)>my timmy>aqua puss>line6 dl4(soon to be a eventide timefactor)>into my vox ac4

i'm happy with that. i wish i had a louder amp with some cool tones but i'm ok with the vox.

now more on jesus.

yesterday i sat on my grandparents porch on the swing my grandparents used to share every afternoon. i sat for a little while and thought of my grandmother that just passed away earlier this year. what does this have to do with jesus? let me finish. i sat there for about 15 minutes and wondered why she was taken away and what it would be like if she was still living.  then those thoughts led to the old thought i used to have, about God being real. i wasn't thinking those thoughts but remembering thinking those thoughts and how i used to feel about eternity and God's existance.

i hope that made sense.

for like 5 minutes i was pretty stressed out in my old mind. someone i loved died. someone i'm supposed to love i can't see for feel and i doubt they exist. now i can't see my gradmother and i can't feel her or hear her voice. so does she take the same mindset jesus does now? no. then why do i doubt the existance of God?

i think its because i never hung out with him. or ate lunch with him or played baseball with him. kinda like the thought of having a soul mate. i doubt that more than i doubt God alot of the time. i find it stressful to think that i'm supposed to find this one girl in a world of gynteen billion people and i'm supposed to love her and complete her and all that gooey stuff, but then i wake up one morning and stretch and i almost feel her do the same. wherever she is. sometimes look at the sky or at the world surrouding us and i feel she's doing the same.

why do i doubt? maybe cause i don't know who they are fully yet. i'm not sure who i'm gonna marry. i know what i would like, but i'm not sure if they'll meet my expectations. i know they'll blow my mind but sometimes i forget that. anyways, i don't know if i even really said anything worth reading but whatever.

i feel wonderful today. like eric clapton singing to me wonderful. Jesus is real. He is around today, ask him to help you today. i'm sure he won't mind lol

peace.